Pink Piggies and Prayers

Today, I am the epitome of a hot mess. 


I am sitting here on my bed, next to a tub of peanut butter ice cream, and a Chinese takeout box of potstickers. My hair is falling out of a very messy ponytail, and the mascara that I so carefully put on for my new drivers license photo, is running down my cheeks. My lips are severely chapped. In lieu of a shirt, I'm wearing a big, white, fluffy robe. I still have my jeans on, and only one of my shoes is tied. 


The painful reality, is that my mom is quickly deteriorating, and our time with her is rapidly closing in. I'm racking my brain, trying to think of any and all memories of her. I'm trying to hold onto anything that I can. 


-Her love for Alan Jackson, Alison Krauss, and the Dixie Chicks
-Daisies
-Writing every minute of our lives on her calendar 
-Cadbury eggs 
-Listening to the Tarzan CD on repeat, specifically "You'll be In My Heart"
-Her saying "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be."
-Zappos.com was happy to deliver 2+ packages a week to her
-Introducing us to Zonkeys (Zebra/Donkey hybrid)
-The fact that her secret identity is Wonder Woman
-Drawing pink piggies around our belly buttons before bath time


 Earlier today, I slammed my fist into the wall, slid to my knees and cried out. 
For the first time ever, I asked....


Why?


As I knelt with my head against the wall, the scripture Matthew 7:7-8 entered my head:

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. "

I prayed, in a way that I haven't prayed in a very long time. I asked Heavenly Father, 'why?' I quickly received an answer, through some articles in the Ensign/LDS.org.

 I have never felt more peace in my entire life. 

“I recognize that, on occasion, some of our most fervent prayers may seem to go unanswered. We wonder, ‘Why?’ I know that feeling! I know the fears and tears of such moments. But I also know that our prayers are never ignored. Our faith is never unappreciated. I know that an all-wise Heavenly Father’s perspective is much broader than is ours. While we know of our mortal problems and pain, He knows of our immortal progress and potential. If we pray to know His will and submit ourselves to it with patience and courage, heavenly healing can take place in His own way and time.”

—Russell M. Nelson, "Jesus Christ—the Master Healer," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 86

 “There is terrible suffering in our world today. Tragic things happen to good people. God does not cause them, nor does He always prevent them. He does, however, strengthen us and bless us with His peace, through earnest prayer.”

—Rex D. Pinegar, "Peace through Prayer," Ensign, May 1993, 67

After receiving the answer to 'why?', I wondered 'how?' 

How are we supposed to get through this?

Again, I received my answer through Ensign articles/LDS.org

“Never assume that you can make it alone. You need the help of the Lord. Never hesitate to get on your knees in some private place and speak with Him.”

—Gordon B. Hinckley, "Stay on the High Road," Ensign,May 2004, 114

“Our Father in Heaven has promised us peace in times of trial and has provided a way for us to come to Him in our need. He has given us the privilege and power of prayer. He has told us to ‘pray always’ and has promised He will pour out his Spirit upon us.”

—Rex D. Pinegar, "Peace through Prayer," Ensign, May 1993, 66

“We are all subject to sorrow and suffering, to disease and death. Through times good and bad, the Lord expects each of us to endure to the end. As we all go forward together in His sacred work, the Brethren realize the importance of your thoughtful consideration, so lovingly offered and gratefully received. We love you and pray for you, as you pray for us.”

—Russell M. Nelson, “Jesus Christ—the Master Healer,” Ensign, Nov. 2005, 85

“When sore trials come upon us, it’s time to deepen our faith in God, to work hard, and to serve others. Then He will heal our broken hearts. He will bestow upon us personal peace and comfort. Those great gifts will not be destroyed, even by death.”

—Russell M. Nelson, “Jesus Christ—the Master Healer,” Ensign, Nov. 2005, 87

So why is it that we are having to endure through this trial?

 Because it's part of the Lords plan. 

During the times when we feel most alone, we have a Savior who knows EXACTLY what we are going through. And how we will get through this, is by putting our faith, and trust in Him.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

-Philippians 4:13